“The Race”

(available in episode 114 and on YouTube)

I was first off the blocks,
and was setting the pace.
By the very first corner,
I was leading the race.

My legs was both pumping,
and so was my heart.
That gold medal was mine –
I could tell from the start.

As I pulled further away,
by the end of lap one,
I was so far ahead
I could tell that I’d won.

I could picture the glory
of breaking the tape,
and accepting my medal -
they’d all know my name.

But, I started to slow.
By the end of lap two,
my fuel tank was empty.
What was there to do?

There were twelve laps in total.
I was starting to pant,
as the pack all gained slowly
like a long trail of ants.

I could hear feet getting closer.
Then, they caught me at last.
And one by one, those runners -
I watched them all pass.

And off in the distance
those runners they went.
As I slowed to a jog -
my energy spent.

They lapped me, and lapped me,
and lapped me once more.
Then, they finished while I slowly
completed lap four.

For a while there, they waited,
before they headed off home.
As I jogged round the circuit,
I was all on my own.

By the time that I finished,
I was way off the pace,
and the only race that I won
was the one for last place.

“What I Found”

(available in episode 94 and on YouTube)

I spent hours in the garden,
walking up and down,
sweeping right,
and sweeping left,
and look just what I found.

No treasure! Just a stack of things
that folks have thrown away.
But I washed them all,
and polished them
and put them on display.

I found a buried coin from ’91,
clearly tarnished by the weather.
I found a rusty padlock,
and single key,
that don’t belong together.

I found an old toy plane, a curtain ring,
an empty baked bean tin.
I found an old paint can,
a metal hook,
and a large waste paper bin.

I was feeling bad that I’d just found
the rubbish in this rhyme.
Until with luck,
a watch turned up.
So, at least I found the time.

“Fresh Snowfall”

(available in episode 79 and on YouTube)

I awoke to a scene
reimagined as white.
A crisp clean sheet
pulled over it tight,
and patterned with the placing
of hundreds of feet.
Tucked in at the corners,
and patted down neat.
Glistening like diamonds
in the dawn’s early sun.
A testament to perfection
until the moment I come.
To ruin this world,
feels so unjust,
but with a sled in one hand,
ruin it, I must.

“A Hole In One”

(available in episode 68)

I’m picking my clubs,
and hitting the greens.
My swing is the strangest
you’ll ever have seen.

I’m on every tee.
I’m putting away.
Walking up and down fairways
for the whole of the day.

I have balls slicing left,
and balls slicing right,
and have balls colored neon
for when I’m playing at night.

I’ve been out here for hours,
but something’s not right
as my balls are disappearing
well out of sight.

I’m dressed for the part
with my shirt, shoes and hat.
I look a real pro,
but despite all of that

I have no hole in one,
and I’ve lost all control.
I’ll be happy if I ever
get a ball in a hole.

“Fit To Drop”

(available in episode 68 and on YouTube)

I did a plank for a minute.
Then ran really fast.
I did twenty star jumps,
up and down on a mat.

I did leg curls and presses,
crunches and squats.
I did Pilates and spin class,
where I cycled a lot.

I have machines made for rowing,
for jogging, and ski.
A whole hour of jump rope
is nothing to me.

I did sit-ups and push-ups,
and chin-ups galore.
I did high knees and lunges,
and burpees and more.

I went jogging up inclines,
while counting my steps.
I worked on my core,
my abs and biceps.

I swam laps in the morning.
Tai Chi before bed.
I worked while speed walking.
Climbed stairs while I read.

I’m as fit as a fiddle,
but the time’s come to stop,
as I’ve reached the point for today,
when I’m just fit to drop.

“Take To The Bank”

(available in episode 55)

You should go to the river.
You can borrow my chair.
There's a place near a willow.
Once you're sat there,

here's a book - it's my favorite,
and a journal to note
all that you see:
the birds, fish, and boats.

And here's a packed lunch,
a thermos of tea,
and a nice slice of cake.
I'm sure you'll agree

some time by the river,
your mind all a blank,
is a gift from a friend
you can take to the bank.

“Directions”

(available in episode 8)

If you go from A to B,
and can’t get back from B to A,
don’t worry as I know a way
where you can turn right at B
and head on down to get to C.
Though C really isn’t the place to B,
so take another right to D.
Once at D, you’ll be pleased to C,
a path that brings you home to me.

“Pond World”

(available in episode 52 and on YouTube)

There's a pond in my garden -
a different world, so it seems.
I now keep a pond diary
of all that I've seen.

It has dragonflies, frogspawn,
pond snails, and toads.
It has newts and pond skaters.
As for larvae, there's loads.

In Summer, it has grass snakes.
In Winter, there's frogs,
amphibians hide in rockeries
and piles of logs.

The whole year 'round,
there's something to see,
grab a pen and some paper
and come watch with me.

“My Squeaky Wheelbarrow”

(available in episode 50 and on YouTube)

I’ve got a squeaky barrow.
It squeaks so shrill and loud
that people come
from far and wide
to form a massive crowd

to see what makes
a noise that’s like
a giant mouse in pain.
The neighbors desiring a peaceful life
pray nightly now for rain,

to keep me safely in my house,
my barrow in its shed.
But, on sunny days,
it squeaks away,
until it’s time for bed.

I love the squeaks
the barrow makes
as I push it full of soil,
and I vow to never silence it
with any type of oil.

So, if your world’s too quiet,
don’t sit there and critique.
Come push my barrow
round with me,
and fill your world with squeaks!

“Two Tents”

(available in episode 40 and on YouTube)

We all went camping,
as a group of good friends.
It seemed a great way
for the Summer to end.
We found a nice spot
where we couldn’t be seen,
and made a camp fire
for our big pot of beans.

The upset all started
when pitching our tents.
Ours was all tiny,
and yours was immense.
Whereas ours was the size
of two sleeping bags,
yours had two bedrooms,
a washroom, and flags.
Ours was all grassy,
and soon filled with bugs,
whereas yours had nice cushions
and some comfortable rugs.
We hung a small lamp
with its pitiful light,
while a generator powered
your tent all the night.

Eventually, I screamed,
but, in my defense,
the passions ran high
when us friends got too tense.

“Our Campfire Meal”

(available in episode 40)

I built up some kindling
to start on my fire,
adding twigs, then some branches
so the flames would grow higher.

I peeled all my spuds,
and opened up cans.
Then, on went my pots,
and on went my pans.

By the time we were done,
the potatoes were roasted,
the stew had been cooked,
the marshmallows been toasted.

Then, we ate round the fire,
and sang all our songs,
'til the sun had gone down,
our energy gone.

So, we retired to our tents.
We'd done all we could,
and I slept like a log
the day we burnt all that wood.

“My Morning Kiss” 

(available in episode 40)

Last night, in the dark,
I got into my tent,
and, for sure,
I was the only one there.

I slid into my bag,
zipped it up tight,
and fell asleep
quite unaware

there was anyone else
inside of my tent,
curled up,
in my deck chair.

It was therefore a shock
when I woke the next day,
with a morning kiss
from a black bear!

“My Picnic”

(available in episode 38 and on YouTube)

I found a nice spot,
and laid down my blanket,
then went back to the car
to go fetch the hamper.
I opened it up,
and got out the treats:
the vegetables and fruits,
and three types of cheese.
I had biscuits and cake,
and juices galore,
enough for us all,
and a large number more.
I arranged it all nicely,
then went back to the car
to fetch cushions and napkins.
Though the walk wasn’t far,
the animals pounced quickly
and as you’d predict,
I went hungry the day
that my picnic was nicked.

“Take A Hike”

(available in episode 38)

I’ve been chased by a ram,
and chased by a bull!
I slipped, and I tripped.
Banged my head in a fall.
I’ve got cuts on my elbows,
and scrapes on my knees.
I’ve been stung by some nettles,
some wasps, and some bees.
As a result, I’m now wondering
why some people I like
suggested this morning
that I go take a hike!

“What We Discovered”

(available in episode 38)

We set off on a hike
to see what we’d find,
while stretching our legs
and relaxing our minds.

First we discovered
a meadow with flowers.
We discovered a forest,
where we wandered for hours,

before we discovered a great spot
to sit down and eat,
while we refueled our tanks,
and rested our feet.

After lunch, we discovered
a forest and meadow...
hang on, we’ve been here before!
We really should know

that when we’re doing a hike,
take a map at all cost.
Don’t end up like us.
We’ve discovered we’re lost.

“Are We There Yet?”

(available in episode 37 and on YouTube)

Just how long will it take us
to get to this place?
I’m bored - can’t you tell
from the look on my face?
I’m yawning and wriggling,
stuck in my seat.
My legs are both twitching,
and I’m banging my feet.
I’ve finished my snacks
and drunk all my drink.
My brain has seized up,
and can no longer think.
It’s ten minutes since we left,
so it feels a safe bet
that the news will be good
when I ask .. are we there yet?

“Traffic”

(available in episode 37)

On a nice sunny day,
it’s easy to see
why every single person
just wants to be
somewhere they weren’t
at the start of the day.
This explains why they’re all
now making their way
East when they woke up
off in the West,
and for those in the East,
yes – you’ve guessed -
they’re driving themselves
the opposite way.
All of which
leads me to say
that the roads would flow faster
for me and my car,
if everyone was happier
with wherever they are!

“Day Out”

(available in episode 37)

Let’s take a day trip
and go have some fun.
Tell all of your friends
that they’re welcome to come!
We can drive to the country
to take a long hike,
or head to the woods
and cycle on bikes.
We could visit a castle,
or drive to the sea,
canoe on a lake,
or snowboard, or ski.
We should head off right now!
Let’s not delay,
as it’s sad that a day trip
only lasts for one day!

“Sand In My Sandals”

(available in episode 34 and on YouTube)

I've got sand in my sandals,
sand between toes,
sand in my hair,
and sand up my nose.
There's sand between pages
of the book I was reading,
and sand at the bottom
of the drink I was drinking.
I've got sand in my pockets,
and sand in my eyes.
If you add it all up,
it should be no surprise
that enough of this beach
will head home with me.
When I pour it all out,
it will be easy to see
the whole situation
just get out of hand,
and I'll just have to bury
my head in the sand.

“Can We Go Now?”

(available in episode 9)

He checked it once.
He checked it twice.
The door was locked when he checked both times.
So, we turned around to walk away,
when he must have heard his worries say,
“Is twice enough to check a door?
You should turn around and check once more.”
Of course, it was no surprise to me,
that the door was locked when he did check three.
Surely, now he knows for sure it’s locked,
we can take our walk down to the shops.
But no, he’s found there’s more to do:
to check the lights are off … and oven too.
Oh no, he thinks he’s lost his phone!
I guess this means that we’ll just stay home.

“Loop”

(available in episode 9)

I went for a walk,
but not in a straight line,
I walked a giant circle,
and to my surprise,
I ended back where I started,
and I’d been here before.
I knew what was here,
and I want to see more.
So, I turned around
retracing my steps,
and found myself back
at the beginning again.
The lesson I learned
is, to find somewhere new,
walk in a straight line
and not in a loop!

“Me and My Dog”

(available in episode 4 and on YouTube)

Me and my dog go out for a walk,
and it’s plain for all to see,
that it’s really not me who is walking the dog,
it’s the dog who is out walking me.

My dog is quite a bit bigger than me,
and so she can easily drag me round town.
One minute she’s taking me up a long street,
and the next she brings me back down.

She takes me around all her best places,
like the butchers and down to the park.
Sometimes she gets tired, lays down and won’t move,
and we’re stuck there ‘til way after dark.

At the end of the day, she’ll sprint us back home.
My poor feet, they won’t touch the ground.
Despite all of this, I love every walk –
I’m a pet of the world’s greatest hound.